Funny Poker Jokes

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Take a look at our poker jokes section and you’ll be sure to have a laugh or two. Feel free to send any joke you like to your friends for their enjoyment and to share a laugh with us. Enjoy this collection of funny poker jokes, humor and statements: Joke #1: 5 Signs You Might Have A Poker Addiction. Poker Jokes Following is our collection of euchre puns and liquor one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. Including Poker jokes for adults, dirty poker puns and clean poker game dad jokes for kids. A poker player wins one million dollars first price in a tournament.

Hat tip to the 1000+ post BBV thread Best Poker Screen Names on the TwoPlusTwo forums for sourcing many of these - plus the regular grinders who spotted these nicks and avatars at the tables. Toilet humor, profanity, gender, race and sexuality jokes, jabs at celebrities and HUD users - no one is safe. Browse literally thousands of totally free funny jokes, riddles, cartoons, pictures, videos and more. I just bet each of the guys in the poker room.

Funny poker face jokes

My son made me a rather lovely Fathers’ Day card for last weekend, so here is a page of card jokes. Don’t expect them to be overly original or funny…

A friend’s car broke down between the harbour and Birthdays. He’s stuck between a dock and a card place.

Funny Poker Jokes Laugh

There’s a problem on my doner card record of my blood group. It’s a Type O…

Cold weather is here. Had to scrape ice & snow of my windscreen this morning. Used my supermarket loyalty card. Only got 10% off.

How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away his credit card.

Why can’t you play cards with a pirate? Because they are standing on the deck….

I saw an insect with a pack of cards earlier. Ant & Deck.

A friend sent me a card saying “Get Bell Soon”. He meant well.

Funny poker face jokesJokes

Bought something and accidentally used my doner card instead of my credit card. Cost me an arm and a leg.

Went to the bank and they told me they could offer me a credit card with no interest. I said, “Why are you bothering then?”

Got a cheap card coming up to Christmas with 24 windows, but turned out that each one was just a little hole. Turned out I’d bought an advent colander.

I knew my bank was in trouble when I tried to use my credit card and was told “insufficient funds”, and it wasn’t on my side…

Last week’s yoga jokes are here.

Short Funny Poker Jokes

If you like these, have a look over here…

Funny Poker Jokes

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Last night I got thrown out of a casino… apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table.

In Vegas they’ll bet on anything. One casino was ready to let me bet on whether I’d win or lose there.

I’m going to the casino tonight. I hope I break even. I need the money.

I had nothing to do, so just for a laugh I went to the casino. In three hours I’d laughed away my car.

What is the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years the dog quits whining.

Funny Poker Face Jokes

What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it!

Funny Poker Jokes

Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs (ok that was lame).

Funny Poker Jokes Humor

The wife of a doctor called the casino to get her husband paged. They refused. The house doesn’t make doctor calls.