I Think My Son Has A Gambling Problem
Gambling is risky for anyone. For young people, it’s downright dangerous. And that’s without even considering the risk of full-on addiction. A young man’s risk-averse brain compounds the problem. In this post, we explore what every parent needs to know about the dangers and risks of teen gambling.
I am so worried about my son. He has had a gambling problem (sports betting) for approx. He is in his early 20's. He never has any money. He has a good paying job, but looses most of what he makes gambling. He really is such a good. The thing with hypnosis it is someone else taking the problem on for him, instead if HIM taking his own problem on. Gamblers have an enlarged pleasure part of the brain, and asking a gambler to stop is like asking you to abstain from sex. There will come a time when you will think the proposition is cruel.
According to the National Council on Problem Gambling, problem gambling affects more than 2 percent of Americans. If you have a gambling addiction, you may feel an uncontrollable urge to buy.
Online gambling was among the first generation of Internet-based activities to take the world by storm. The first bets were being placed in 1994, and the steady shoring up of financial transactions bolstered user confidence. In 1996, there were just over a dozen Internet gambling websites. By 1997, there were well over 200. That’s a worrying trend for anyone who’s paying attention.
In 1998, online gambling’s global revenue exceeded US$800 – which seemed astonishing in and of itself. But the truth is that global enthusiasm for Internet gambling had barely reached a whisper. It’s worth well into the US$50 billion at this point, and the market is expected to pass US$80 billionby 2022.
Online gambling’s journey from a non-entity to a massively multi-billion-dollar industry in less than a quarter century is alarming. That it thrived despite concerted attempts by governments to quell it is downright concerning.
The fact that children have such free and easy access to gambling is beyond disconcerting. For some families, it’s a devastating proposition.
The Truth About Gambling Addiction
Up until recently, people were reluctant to place substance-abuse addictions (like alcoholism) in the same category as process addictions (like gambling addiction). The thinking was that even if so-called ‘gambling addiction’ was similar to ‘real’ addiction, it wasn’t halfway as bad as ingesting an addictive substance.
But our understanding of addiction has evolved in recent years. Today, we understand that addiction is a brain-based disease. A person suffering from drug addiction isn’t really addicted to the drug. They’re addicted to the way it makes their brain react and behave. Addictive processes like gambling can make the brain behave in precisely the same way, which means they’re every bit as addictive.
Today, the psychiatric community recognises the seriousness of gambling addiction. ‘Gambling disorder’ was added to the latest (fifth) edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) – the gold-standard of mental health diagnoses and treatment.
All of this is to say that gambling addiction is a very real concern – especially in a world where online gambling makes the pastime more accessible than ever. It’s a serious public-health threat, and surprisingly easy to get caught up in. If your son is getting caught up in gambling – online or off – you’re right to be concerned.
The stakes are higher than he realises, and in more ways than one.
How Teenagers Develop a Gambling Addiction
Gambling has probably always been part of society. But it’s not as if placing a wager leads to a life of despair. Even in places where gambling is technically illegal, there’s likely to be a government-run lottery.
Most young people are well-acquainted with gambling in one form or another. But this is the first generation of young people to grow up in a world where gambling tables are readily accessible – literally at their fingertips rather than at a specific physical location. The ease of access that comes with online gambling is dangerous, as gamblers who start at an early age have greater likelihood of developing a gambling addiction.
One reason teens face a greater risk of developing a gambling problem is that they’re less risk-averse than adults. This is compounded by common mental-issues often faced by teens – depression and low self-esteem, for example.
For teens, compulsive gambling often begins innocently enough. It may start with scratch-off tickets, raffles at community gatherings or even buying a soda from the 7-Eleven because there’s a possible prize under the bottle cap. None of these activities feels like gambling, but they can set that part of the brain in motion.
A gambling addiction piqued during childhood develops during teenage years. Sports betting is often a favourite of young men. They’re also likely intrigued by the seemingly glamorous casino lifestyle they’ve seen in TV and films. And while some will gain access to casinos – either with a fake ID or because of lax enforcement – an alarming number of at-risk teens are going to get their gambling fix online.
How to Know If Your Son Is Hiding a Gambling Addiction
If you suspect your son has a gambling problem, it’s worth taking a closer look – even if he’s relatively young. A study conducted by the UK’s National Council on Problem Gambling found that young problem gamblers get started at around eight years old. That’s not to say a majority of young people are gambling at this age. But those who have a problem in their teens and twenties are likely to have started around this age.
Here are some warning signs that your teenage son may have a gambling problem:
- Withdrawing from friends or family
- Suddenly taken up with a new social group
- New gambling lingo creeping into his vernacular (words like ‘bookie’ or ‘point spread’)
- Experiencing difficulty in school (or skipping school)
- Asking for more money than usual, or stealing money from friends or family
- Being inexplicably flush with cash
Some of the above are common signs for all compulsive disorders, and it’s important not to jump to conclusions. In any case, if you’re concerned about your son, you can speak to him openly, caringly and without judgement.
We Can Help with Your Son’s Gambling Addiction
This generation of young people has unprecedented access to gambling. Unfortunately, they’re equipped to deal with the associated pressures. The good news is that help’s available. The Edge operates gambling addiction treatment that’s tailor-made for teens and young men aged 18 to 26.
Our treatment programme combines high-intensity outdoor fitness training and both group and one-on-one counselling to help our clients foster a new sense of purpose and self-discovery. We help them break down their self-destructive behaviour patterns and replace them with more constructive and fulfilling ones.
If a gambling addiction is ruining your son’s life, we can help. Get in touch with us via the contact page, and we’ll help you understand what help looks like.
Recommended Posts:
I am so worried about my son. He has had a gambling problem (sports betting) for approx. 6 years now. He is in his early 20's. He never has any money. He has a good paying job, but looses most of what he makes gambling. He really is such a good person, and this addiction that is destroying him is breaking my heart!
He called tonight and told me he had gambled again, and lost. He did not tell me how much. He has been loosing around $1,000 each time he gambles and looses. He indicated it was around this amount. For the first time he said he has decided to never gamble again. In the past he has said he has confidence he can get this under control. He was very upset, as he always is when this happens. I know he means it when he says he has decided to never gamble again, but I am so afraid he will not be able to. He has gotten an extension on his car payment, delaying his payment for a month. I am afraid the day may come that he looses his car, and consequently, his job. He is so young to have such a TERRIBLE addiction! But then, I suppose age has nothing to do with addictions.
Do any of you have any advice on how I can help him follow through on his desire to stop gambling? I want to help, but do not know what to do next. In the past I have suggested Gam. Anonymous. He has said he would go if I want him to. I have told him he needs to go if HE wants to. Maybe this time he will go. Does it really help? He is a very proud young man, and a kind, caring person who wants to do well in life. He worries so much about others; he really needs to take care of himself first.
I know I am probably rambling on here. I am so at a loss as to what to do. It hurts so bad; I am so afraid for him. Concentrating on my daily responsibilities is very hard. At times I think of resigning from my teaching position at a local community college, and just isolating myself from the world. A terrible thought, I know, and of course I could not give up and do such a thing---but at times one feels like it. I feel for all of you who have this terrible addiction. I admire all who have found the way and the strength to overcome it.
Please, if any of you have any advise as to how I can help my son, I would be thankful.
I have the book, 'Don't Leave It to Chance, A Guide for Families of Problem Gamblers', by Edward J. Federman, Charles E. Drebing, and Christopher Krebs. It is a good book. I have not read all of it though. I also have the book, 'Love First' by Jeff and Debra Jay. It is a book on alcoholism and drug addiction. However, it was recommend to me for gambling addiction. It is a book on intervention help. Perhaps I will spend the week end reading these two books, and will have a better idea on how to help my son.
Thank you for this forum that I have found tonight.
Jane, Friday January 28, 2005
04:51 AM EST
I Think My Son Has A Gambling Problem Meme
Hi Jane and welcome! I can relate to your son putting off the car payment because I am digging out of this hole right now. Your son is very blessed to have a parent who wants to help. It sounds like you are doing your homework about this disease. GA although I haven't been to that particular 12 step meetings is a good place for your son to learn he is not alone and to find support from other gamblers who are one day at a time trying to stay away from gambling
You are right this disease does not care how old you are and it comes in all shapes and sizes. He cannot beat this thing by himself. It is good that he can talk to you about it. This site has helped me so much in the past week. My last gamble was last Saturday and one day at a time, I have not gambled this week. Each day is a miracle.
Your son will need to make the move toward recovery by asking for help. He will need help from someone who has been there and knows exactly how to help him. Family unfortunately is not enough, love is not enough, this disease needs a dose of reality right between the eyes.
You may want to show your son this site and see if he can introduce himself and get to know more about recovery from gambling. The first step is the hardest. The rest is just plain old fashioned hard work!!
crazylady
Hello, and thank you for your reply.
I have talked to my son tonight (he lives 85 miles away). He is positive, and determined to beat this. I do not know what steps he is going to take to help himself. He works long shifts every other week, and I will not be able to talk to him long for a few days. I will mention this site to him, and hope he will join in the discussions here. It looks like a great support group.
I do not know if he will be attending GA meetings. I will suggest it to him. I do believe it would help alot for him to have someone to talk to that has been through this. He has the book, 'Don't Leave It to Chance,' and has read some of it. I believe it is a good book, and may help if he would read it.
I have two questions I would like to ask:
Have any of you read the book 'Comped' by Bill Kearney? If so, did you find it helpful? Have you read the book '7 Steps to Overcoming Gambling Addiction for Life'?
Also, on this web site in the 'financial service' section, there is a program to help with financial problems. Have any of you tried this, and did you find it helpful? I am thinking that debt consolidation might help. I believe, though, that any one considering debt consolidation should cut up all credit cards first, and do NOT get any more.
I thank you for your time.
I am glad I found this site. I am wondering if it is for the gambling addicted person only. You have made me feel welcome, though.
Thank you again, and good luck to all of you!!
hello Jane,
Keep supporting him no matter what. Do not ever bail him out or give him any money to get by on.. that will just make it worse for him and harder to stop gambling. He has to be accountable to someone, he must put himself on an allowance and turn everything else over to someone else he can trust to hold on to his money and help him pay his bills. He has to be willing to stop gambling and work a recovery that will help keep him away from this addiction.. Meetings, calling other cgs for support, groups like this.. He is so young to be a cg. help him now.. Find out all you can about this disease and follow thru with getting him help.. too many young people are addicted to gambling and many end up wanting to commit suicide because of the depression.. Stay in touch with him everyday, several times a day if you have too.. I do wish the best for you and your son. I have three grown kids, Its so hard on us when they suffer with an addiction.. stay strong and never give up. Hugs Audrey
Hi Jane, what a wonderful mum he has, I hope he comes to realise that before he uses you, because if he continues he will grind (let me correct myself, his addiction will) grind you to the ground.
Like a drug addict in desperation for a fix, we are no different; it is all about the similarities. I started my addiction by being introduced to machines my mother. She to this day is an addict but will never admit it. Yet she watched my life go down the drain and she is still going.
I have helped myself and she hasn't. Your young fella needs to help himself Jane. How does not matter as much as when he decides to stop. Anytime is a good time and ask him to make himself a promise not to gamble today, before dinner etc if he needs to break it down. Let the future come to him and take it a bit at a time.
I have not gambled for 27 odd months now and it has been a day at a time. Sure tough sometimes but that is why I keep busy on places like this. Or my own blog (online diary) Ask him to go have a good read of mine called Lost Wallets and other lies here
We do not know each other but I will guarantee you he will relate to it. I suggest every gambler on earth get one of these. It is very liberating, can be private or for the world to see, can include anything form thoughts, confessions to funny stories etc but the thing it does best Jane is lift a huge wait off your shoulders. This also helps if he is reluctant to go to GA or group sessions. I see someone once a month these days one on one.
Let us know how you go, email me anytime
Take care
Rob
Hello to all of you,
Thank you all so much for being there. I am so glad I found this site. Thank you crazylady, audrey, and rob for your replies. You all have been such a help, and a comfort. I worry that I am in contact with my son too often. We usually talk at least once a day. He is a wonderful son, and it is so hard to see him being torn up by this terrible addiction. Yes Audrey, it is hard on us when our children suffer an addiction. I try to be strong and not let his addiction 'grind me to the ground', but to be honest with you, at times it does. Some nights I lie awake all night, tossing and turning, crying and shaking. This is the other side of addiction. But I know I have to try to stay strong, not just for myself, but for all of my family. (I, too, have three grown kids.) My husband seems to handle it all much easier, but inside I know he is hurting.
Rob, I do not know you, nor any one else here, but I am proud of you and the others that have stopped gambling. Wow, 27 months! Be proud of yourself. I can not understand this addiction from the side of an addict, but I can understand it from my side: having watched what my son has gone through for the last 5-6 years,(slowly getting worse) and from having read about this disease. Actually, I once worked in a casino. I saw people come into the casino with their monthly social security checks, gamble it away, and have nothing to live on for the rest of the month.
'One day at a time' seems like a very good way to approach this. And, Rob, your blog will be a big help, I am sure! Thank you for sharing this!!
I Think My Son Has A Gambling Problems
I talked to my son tonight, and he said he is as strong now in his conviction to stop as he was three days ago when he decided to stop gambling. He does not want to go to GA, I know he will need help somewhere---I will give him this site, the blog, and other info I have. He will have to want to help himself. I know he wants to, it just seems so hard from what I know of this addiction. Meeting all of you, and seeing that you are strong and on the road to recovery is encouraging. The gamblock is a good thing to know about. One of the problems is we live in the state of Nevada---yep, gambling is everywhere. He likes to do sports betting, and he is afraid he will not enjoy sports as much. I guess that when you are recovering from this addiction you have to learn to live your life over, in a sense.
I am sorry for going on for so long. I have one more thing: I have, in the past loaned my son money. (Alot) As have others. I now know that was wrong. This is one of the ways this addiction affects others; you hurt because the person has lost this money, you love him, and want to help, you think that you will loan the money, the situation will be resolved, everyone will feel better, and maybe, just maybe, this will be the time that he will see what he is doing and be able to stop. Of course, by giving the money we only enable them to continue with the gambling. You love this person, and this is hard to see, but it is important to know.
Thank you all.............